When Discipleship Isn’t Enough

When Discipleship Isn’t Enough

Discipleship pathway systems are all the rage in the United Methodist Church these days. And with good reason. These systems are supposed to produce disciples, i.e. growth, and thus enable churches to fulfill the Great Commission, as well as the mission of the denomination.

But what about when discipleship isn’t enough? I can’t help but wonder if this approach to discipleship is short-sighted.  Perhaps even problematic.  The first problem I see is that discipleship as an end game can create passive followers who don’t own their God-given agency.  The second problem is that discipleship without apostleship subverts the Gospels’ meta message.

Let’s start with the first problem.  Jesus didn’t call The Twelve or The Seventy-Two or any of the others for them to be mere followers.  Followership was simply the first stage in their spiritual development.  Apostleship was the ultimate goal of their training.

During the three years The Twelve spent with Jesus, they observed how he thought and how he prayed. They watched how he taught and soaked up what he believed. They watched him engage paralyzed, hurting, desperate people and they noted the way he interacted with others. They listened to the way he phrased things. They were privy to his miracles and glimpsed his inner relationship with God.

But they didn’t stop there. Jesus transferred his spiritual authority, agency, and accountability to them. They were to speak, act, and heal on behalf of him, and of the Kingdom.  Each of these men and women were to be active agents, stewards, of the Kingdom dream.

What’s striking to me is that Jesus never hoarded his power. He freely taught others how to exercise it. After they mastered the kinds of things Jesus had done, The Twelve, The Seventy-Two and likely countless others, surpassed what Jesus had done.  Not only did they heal, preach, and proclaim the Kingdom, they gathered thousands of followers, set up communities in far-flung places, and oversaw the development of structures that allowed the church to grow and expand throughout the known world.

That’s where we get to the second problem with discipleship pathway systems. We’re not going to be any good at making the sort of disciples Jesus made until we are decidedly better at making the kind of apostles Jesus made. After all, it is apostles who make disciples, not other disciples. You can see this shift in the Great Commission. When Jesus commanded the disciples to “Go therefore into all the world,” signaled the ontological change in their status.  From this moment on, they were no longer followers. Their sending signaled they now functioned as apostles.

Yet in the church, we do not teach people, even our leaders, how to be apostolic:  stewards of the dream, agents of change.  We do not teach people that they are co-creators with God.  That their words have creative, divine power.  That they are more Christ-like than they know.  Instead we teach people to give God all the glory.  I’m not sure if God wants all the glory.  Nor does Jesus.  The way I read the New Testament, Jesus expects us to surpass him, to do even greater things than he did.  The only way to do that is to own our God-given agency and our authority.  Settling for discipleship without apostleship undercuts the ultimate meta message of the Gospels.

So before we get too invested in discipleship pathways, we would do well to build apostleship pathways, too. Interested in knowing more about how to do that?

In my work with Creating a Culture of Renewal, I’ve discovered that apostleship starts with Kingdom-oriented dreams. When church leaders know how to dream like Jesus, align others to the dream, and realize the dream, then the dream can expand and draw others to it.  Now there’s a discipleship pathway system.

Adapted from Dream Like Jesus: Deepen Your Faith and Bring the Impossible to Life © 2019 Rebekah Simon-Peter, now available everywhere online.

 

 

What’s the Difference between Discipleship and Apostleship?

Women, Leadership and the B-Word

When a male leader is direct, confident, or decisive, he’s often known by a C-word:  Confident.  Competent.  Charismatic.  He’s prized as a strong leader, a natural leader.  A woman who shares the same characteristics in a leadership position, however, is often stuck with a less desirable word. With less desirable connotations.

 

I told my husband about the title of this blog and asked him what he thought the B-word was.  He answered tongue in cheek.  “Bright?  Balanced? Bold?”  I laughed.  The truth is, we both know she’s more likely to be known as bossy. Or worse, a b#tch.

 

Strangely enough, it’s not just men that make these pronouncements. Other women do too.

 

Why would women resist strong female leadership?  Is it because women are afraid of their own power?  Is it because women fear the backlash that comes when another woman displays such qualities?  Or maybe traditional female gender socialization is so ingrained that it’s simply hard to accept this sort of female leadership.

 

I’m not sure.  But I do know this.  Women, as well as men, are naturally shaped to be direct, confident, and decisive.  As well as tender, compassionate and collaborative. Traditional gender norms tend to skew socially acceptable behaviors, but in studies about personality type, all of the above qualities occur almost equally in both men and women.  Moreover, since each one of us—male and female—is made in the image and likeness of God, there are no mistakes about how we turn out.

 

The church needs strong, decisive leaders who are confident, competent and charismatic.  As well as compassionate and collaborative.  And the church needs them in both the female and male versions.

 

So how do we move beyond the negative monikers of bossy and b#itch? I have three suggestions for the women in the pews and pulpits:

  1. Remember the power women from your past.

    Identify women from your past that shaped their families and communities with their insight, intuition, and ability to get things done. You are part of that history. Women have always been leaders, even if not in the public square.

 

  1. Mentor the next generation of women.

    Elizabeth supported Mary when they both carried miracle babies who would change the arc of history.  In the same way, mentor younger and older women in developing their own confidence and skill.

 

  1. Own your inner boss.

    Get comfortable with your own power.  The power to move a conversation forward, to motivate a congregation, to envision new possibilities. A female colleague gave me a prized mug that says: “I’m not bossy.  I am the boss.”

There is one more B-word that is under-used when it comes to women.  One we should wholeheartedly embrace:  Bishop.

 

In 2006, I attended an international United Methodist celebration of the 50th anniversary of full clergy rights for women.  All of the female United Methodist bishops in the church were in attendance.  They told their stories, spoke on panels, and cheered each other on.  I was amazed not only at their leadership, but at their everydayness.  As I navigated airports on the way back home, I thought to myself that if I had seen any of these women without their episcopal robes or name tags, I wouldn’t have known they were bishops.  They looked like other women I knew:  grandmothers, mothers, sisters and friends.

 

In the same way, women leaders are all around us.  Women who accomplish amazing things in their communities, families, and in the Kin(g)dom of God.  We need you. Yes, in some settings, you may be thought of as bossy, or even bitchy.  But let’s not forget, you may also be thought of as bishop-material.

 

Learn more about our work at www.rebekahsimonpeter.com.

Vision, Mission, Goals, and the Future of the UMC

Vision, Mission, Goals, and the Future of the UMC

As a Christian leader, you have the dreams of God planted within you. Your task of leadership, your greatest act of stewardship, is to dare to bring forth those dreams, then to lead people in their realization.
As you consider what dreams these might be, taste these pungent words from Radical Grace by Richard Rohr. “What word of hope does the church have to offer the world? The world is tired of our ideas and theologies. It’s tired of our lazy church services. It’s no longer going to believe ideas, but it will believe love. It will believe life that is given and received… For most people in the world the question is not, Is there life on the other side of death? It is, rather, Is there life on this side of death?” A Jesus-like dream enables people to experience the glory of being alive while on earth.
As you dare to create your own Jesus-like dream, let’s take a moment and distinguish some key terms, starting with mission and vision. Vision, Mission, GoalsYour congregation’s mission is the reason it exists. Your vision is the imagined aspirational future your congregation is living into. As Glenn Howell, longtime denominational leader puts it, vision is how you see yourself doing your mission. I would tweak that by saying let your vision be how God believes you are capable of living out your mission.
To get a clear picture of the difference between mission and vision, let’s look at a specific example. In the United Methodist Church, “Making disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world” is the denominational mission. It’s the reason that the church exists at this time. Based on what I’ve observed, the vision of the denomination is, “A world in which the hungry are fed, diseases are stamped out, and God’s grace is made known to all.” This isn’t written down anywhere.  But it’s the lived vision of the UMC as far as I can tell.  Most United Methodist Churches I’ve worked with have some sort of food ministry. The denomination champions an international campaign that invites people to “Imagine no Malaria.” Finally, United Methodists are big on extending the grace of God.
Notice that when it comes to the United Methodist’s working vision, that not every detail is nailed down nor is every nuance figured out. “A world in which the hungry are fed, diseases are stamped out, and God’s grace is made known to all,” paints a picture of the future with broad brush strokes. It’s more like an artistic rendering of a faraway mountain rather than a close-up photo of an immediate landscape.
Now let’s distinguish between a vision and a goal. While a vision is by definition way bigger than you, a goal is smaller, more defined and can easily have the details for its implementation supplied. Click To Tweet
Goals are necessary to enact a vision. But they are not the vision itself.
For instance, one goal necessary to carry out the United Methodist vision might be, “Hold weekly worship services in every congregation so that people in the community can hear and learn about the love of God.” While weekly worship services are a good thing, they are one goal that moves you toward the vision, but they are not the vision.  How do you know?  Implementing this goal won’t necessarily lead to a world in which the hungry are fed, diseases are stamped out, and the grace of God is made known to all.
Let’s tell the truth. It’s easier to settle for a goal than it is to reach for a dream. Or to define why you exist rather than what God is calling you to now that you do exist. It’s easier to take on something small, do-able and predictable than it is to risk something that might fail. You might even be tempted to do so.  But something in you yearns for something more than same old same old.  So I encourage you to resist the temptation to settle for a goal and go all the way for a Jesus-like dream.
Soon United Methodists from around the connection will be gathering to dream of a new future in which people of differing theological commitments can minister side by side with peace and respect. I pray they won’t settle for goals, but will go all the way by daring to dream like Jesus.
Not sure how to create your own Jesus-like dream?  Check out Creating a Culture of Renewal or contact me at rebekah@rebekahsimonpeter.com to learn more.
This blog is excerpted from the upcoming book Dream Like Jesus, Market Square Books.

It’s Not You. It’s Them.

“They want me to preach a three-point sermon, finish worship within an hour so they can beat the Baptists to breakfast, and not make any changes they don’t first approve. Above all not to push them.”   Ruth sighed, deeply discouraged. This Native American pastor is a strong leader: compelled by vision, in tune with the Gospel, led by love. “I thought things were going so well,” she continued. “But then they told my district superintendent how they really felt.” She shook her head, eyes not meeting mine. “I’m not sure my leadership style really works here. Actually, I think it’s because I’m Native American. And female.”
“Girl,” I said, “It’s not you.  It’s them. Don’t take this personally.”
How do I know? I had a similar conversation with Veronica, a skilled and talented African-American female pastor. Almost word for word. She, too, took it personally. It’s hard not to. I told her the same thing I said to Ruth.
As both of these conversations unfolded, echoes sounded from my own past. Previous congregants once said the same kinds of things to me. Yes, I’m female. But I’m neither Native American nor African American. But here’s what all three of us have in common: we each serve(d) congregations in the life-stage of retirement.
When a church reaches the retirement stage of development, a living vision is a thing of the past. Dreams of the future no longer guide them. In the post-glory days of the church, it’s all about managing the faded fruits of vision: activities, building upkeep, and finances. On their way down the far side of the bell curve, these congregations feel the pinch of smaller offerings, shrunken worship attendance, diminished possibilities, and the loss of friends and acquaintances. More pews are empty and the congregation is decidedly more gray.
Blame is a defining dynamic of retirement. “Whose fault is it?” is the unspoken question. The pastor is the most visible person to tag. Chances are, though, the decline started several pastorates before you got there, has been unfolding for at least 10-30 years and the congregation has resisted changes suggested by you and your predecessors.
At the time my congregation blamed me, I took it very personally. I figured the decline was somehow my fault.  If only I worked harder, tried harder, was a better Pied Piper I could turn this church around. If only I had the wisdom to say, “Church, it’s not me. It’s you.”
Truthfully, for congregations in retirement it’s not you, and it’s not them either. They’re simply saying and doing what people say and do when they are afraid, uncertain of the future, and resisting the change they know they need. So just like you don’t need to take their comments personally, don’t make it about them either.
Instead, continue to step into your role as visionary leader. Much as they may want you to be a chaplain, your job as a leader is to be brave, bold, and faithful to the Gospel. Stand and cast the vision. A Jesus-like dream is the only thing that has any chance of making a significant difference. Otherwise, they’ll have every right to say: “It’s not us. It’s you.” Click To Tweet
Here are three best practices and two cautions when casting a vision in a retirement stage congregation.
Best Practice #1: Identify your sub-congregations. At this point you have several sub-congregations, even if they all worship at the same hour. Your people have come in waves under different pastorates and that pastor’s particular style, vision or goal. So, each sub-group is expecting something different of the church. Find out who joined when. Discover what they remember of that particular time and pastor. As you cast a new vision it’s important to scout out and address each sub-group distinctly and intentionally.
Best Practice #2: Connect the dots between the past and the future. Help each sub-group see how the new vision fulfills the vision they were first attract ted to. If the old vision was about growing the Sunday school with a promise of more young people, and the new vision is about easing suffering by reaching out to the homeless families in your neighborhood, help them see the common underlying principle: sharing the hopeful story of God’s love to create better lives for people.
Best Practice #3: Provide a strong rationale. Base your vison in a strong rationale that answers these questions: Why us? Why now? How will we partner with God to realize our vision? Include a strong biblical and theological foundation that connects the Gospel vision with your people and your context.
While you’re carrying out these best practices, do exercise caution. To bring retirement folks on board requires heartfelt emotional intelligence.
Caution #1: Be kind. Change isn’t easy. Look, they know they need to change. They just wish they didn’t have to. Give them as much input on the vision as possible. Even if you don’t take all their advice, complete the circle of listening by letting them know you heard them.
Caution #2: Give in on the things you can. I encouraged Ruth to preach a 15-minute sermon and finish worship in under an hour. Instead of fighting it, use that hour to gain their trust, love them, and begin to lead them in prayer for a new vision. Don’t waste the hour. Otherwise, I might say: “It’s not them. It’s you.”
Conflict can take us out when the stakes are high. But it needn’t have the last word. Build your emotional intelligence as you discover how to handle your own anxieties and fears during times of stress. Join me in January for a 2-part online Mastering Conflict workshop.

The Three Tell-Tale Signs It’s Time for a New Vision

How do you know if it’s time for a new vision in your congregation? Or your denomination, for that matter? It’s not as hard to discern as you might think. I want to share with you three tell-tale signs. And one important next step to take.
Watch for these three key dynamics first identified by church life-cycle specialist, George Bullard. If you see them at play in your setting, then it’s time for a new vision.
Blame: Watch for finger pointing. If it’s easy to identify the problem person, dynamic or influence that’s at fault—and it’s not you—then you are witnessing the dynamic of blame. Listen for statements such as: there aren’t enough young people coming to church; no one tithes anymore; we don’t have enough visitors and it’s all the pastor’s fault.
Sacrificial Commitment Required: Everyone is asked to give more, more, more. More money, more time, and more service to the organization. This would seem to solve the problem of waning energy and attendance. But the problem is lack of vision, not lack of commitment. And I suspect the actual underlying problem is something else.  There isn’t something big to commit to!
Nostalgia or Anger: Nostalgia about the way things were quickly turns to anger when it becomes apparent that the good old days aren’t coming back. And they’re not getting resurrected easily. Bullard points out that a focus on teenagers is a focus on the past. A focus on senior adults is a focus on the present. A focus on 25-40-year-olds and their kids is a focus on the future.
These three tell-tale signs are evident not only in individual churches but in denominations as a whole. Click To Tweet  I’ve spotted these three dynamics at play within the United Methodist Church. Consider that we have been in the blame-each-other mode for a while. Both progressives and conservatives point fingers at each other when it comes to church decline. In fact, many of our denominational fights have been framed as a lack of commitment. Some say that we have a lack of commitment to Biblical authority. Others say we have a lack of commitment to inclusivity. I suspect that the issue isn’t so much a lack of commitment as it is a lack of vision.   These fights are further fueled by both nostalgia and anger. Can’t we go back to the way we used to believe, used to organize ourselves, used to live? This nostalgia is countered with anger that our denomination isn’t more inclusive or farther along in the world.
It’s time for the leaders of the denomination to muster a new vision. I am in favor of the One Church Plan. However, deep down inside I know that it won’t make much difference if we don’t have a new vision driving us. If the denomination were to split it would be worth it IF each new movement was led by a vision giving us fresh energy and leading us in new directions. A vision based on blame, nostalgia or anger, however, won’t cut it. We’ll stay stuck in the same old patterns of decline.
When you’re ready for a new vision, the most important next step you can take is to productively address blame, anger and nostalgia. This isn’t always easy.   However, I want to introduce you to an effective approach.   That’s why I’m inviting you to join me for my next Mastering Conflict Online Workshop, January 4 and 11, 2019.