6 Things Great Leaders Give Up for Lent

6 Things Great Leaders Give Up for Lent

Every year, Christians worldwide observe the season of Lent by giving up something for 40 days. This act of self-denial is meant to be a reminder of Jesus’ sacrifice on our behalf. But what if we took this a step further and used Lent as an opportunity to focus on becoming better leaders? Refining our leadership draws us closer to Christ. Here are six things great leaders give up for Lent.

 

#1 Give up the need to be right

How often have you engaged in an argument, insisting on having your say, even when you knew you were wrong? As leaders, we must be able to admit when we’re wrong. Pride is a major obstacle to growth, both personally and professionally. So, let go of your need to always be right and instead focus on being teachable. A teachable spirit is one of the most important traits of a great leader.

Also if you are always right, it means others by definition are always wrong. That puts others in an untenable position. What if there is more than one way to look at things? When you give up the need to be right, you will discover new ways of looking at things.

 

#2 Give up having to be in control

As leaders, it’s a challenge for us to let go of control. We want things done a certain way, and we want them done now! But micromanaging only leads to frustration and resentment. This Lent, practice letting go of the reins and giving others the freedom to take charge. You might be surprised at how well they do! Great leaders manage teams who go on to carry out the vision and the mission even beyond their time with you.

Remember that you trained your leaders; the ultimate sign of respect is to trust and empower them to do their jobs. The goal of leadership is not to control but rather to encourage growth and development.

 

#3 Give up the need to be popular

Getting caught up in what other people think of us is easy—especially as leaders. We want people to like us; sometimes, we’ll go above and beyond to ensure that happens. But at what cost? This Lent, focus on being authentic to yourself, even if it makes some people unhappy. Being a true leader is not so much about what people think about you but what you think about yourself and how you ensure the health of the institution and the people you lead.

Being popular is often easy. Being faithful can be a lot harder.

 

#4 Give up the need to be busy

We’re always running from one thing to the next in today’s adrenalized society. Being busy doesn’t necessarily mean being more productive. It can mean the opposite. When we are too busy to reflect and be introspective, our decisions suffer, and we become less effective leaders.

In fact if we’re too busy being busy, we can forget the purpose of our work: to draw close to God, draw others close to God, and live the Kingdom way now.

This Lent, give up the need to be busy. Take some time for yourself—to rest, reflect, and recharge. You’ll come back refreshed and ready to tackle whatever comes your way!

 

#5 Give up the need to have all the answers

As leaders, we’re expected to have all the answers, but, of course, that’s simply not possible. No one knows everything, and that’s okay. This Lent, practice being vulnerable and admitting when you don’t know something. It’ll make you more relatable and approachable as a leader.

I recently saw a talk by Sir Ken Robinson. In the video, he shares an experience of a time when he hosted an event with the Dalai Lama. When asked a question, the Dalai Lama paused and said, “I don’t know.”

This moment of humility was a powerful reminder to many in the audience to always be open to learning from others. Leadership is not about just having an answer. Those we lead might be the ones with some of the answers!  Listening and learning from others, including those we’re leading, are vital components to strong leadership.

 

#6 Give up trying to be perfect

Mistakes happen. They are part of the process of living and leading. Trying to be perfect could mean you are getting stuck in analysis paralysis—planning the perfect process or outcome before taking action. Planning for perfection means missing opportunities to bring good into the world now.

There’s a gift that comes from giving up on trying to be perfect – the gift of simply being. Perfection isn’t a realistic goal for anyone. Focus instead on letting the Spirit guide you and your people. Learning from any mistakes you make along the way will move you forward faster than dwelling on your lack of perfection.

 

What Great Leaders Get in Return for Giving up Illusions

When great leaders give up the six illusions—of being right, in control, popular, busy, having all the answers, and trying to be perfect—they get something inestimable in return: Christlikeness. Absent these illusions, Christ was simply and deeply connected to God, allowing God’s perfection to flow through him. Christlikeness is what the season of Lent is all about.

If you want your people to grow in the ways of Christ, lead by example and let go of these six illusions together. You will deepen your spiritual path as a congregation. And rise higher on Easter Morning.

This Lenten season, challenge yourself to give up something that will make you a better leader. Whether it’s giving up your need to be right or letting go of control, use this time as an opportunity for growth.

Who knows? You might find that these things are worth giving up permanently!

Learn more about the unique way we empower leaders by attending an upcoming online Introduction to Creating a Culture of Renewal®.

 

 

Copyright © 2023 rebekahsimonpeter.com.  All Rights Reserved.

Last Minute Lent Planning

Last Minute Lent Planning

While Ash Wednesday has come and gone, it’s not too late to design a meaningful Lent. One that will help your congregation deepen their commitment to prayer, service, and mission. Consider this your guide for last minute Lent planning.

 

Keep it Simple

Since you are working on a last minute timetable for Lent, don’t worry about elaborate activities. Sometimes simple is best. Since Ash Wednesday and Holy Week provide natural bookends to Lent, consider one or two or three ways to engage the themes of Lent between those bookends.

For example, if you want your people to grow in service, you could organize a simple community project or a volunteer effort to focus on service during Lent. Gather needed goods for two weeks and deliver them on the third.

Or, if you want your members to dive deeper into Scripture study during Lent, organize a three-session Bible study or a two-part discussion group. Spread them out over the remaining weeks of Lent.  

Or even more simply, distribute a weekly scripture reading plan that centers around the scriptures you’ll be preaching on. Each week, ask congregants to write out the word or phrase that most stuck with them. Collect those words on slips of paper, or in the chat function of your online worship, and use them during a future time of prayer or praise.

Just because there are 40 days in Lent doesn’t mean churches need to plan 40 events or 40 days of programming. Doing one or two or three things well can be more effective than trying to do it all.

 

Encourage Participation

The more your people actively participate in the Lenten journey, the more meaningful it will be for them. Congregations also appreciate hearing different voices. Take advantage of every opportunity to invite involvement. Live announcements, email campaigns and social media posts create general awareness. But nothing replaces the effectiveness of a personal invitation.

Lent is for everybody, so be sure to invite children, youth, and adults. Don’t forget those who only participate online. This is also an excellent time to reach out to newcomers as well as those who have fallen away. Never make excuses or assumptions about people’s willingness to participate. Cast the net wide.

Feel like you don’t have enough time to cultivate a high level of involvement? Ask many people to do one simple thing together such as sing a new song that is practiced each week. If it has gestures, all the better. Or ask everyone to write out a prayer for a person in the larger community. You will wind up with prayers for teachers, home health aides, car mechanics, baristas, and homeless folks. On Easter Sunday you can celebrate this congregational initiative by praying resurrection power for all of your prayer recipients.

 

Foster Reflection

Lent provides a natural opportunity for quiet reflection. It’s less hectic than Advent, and every bit as important. Include moments throughout worship devoted solely to silence.  Offer silence as a gift, a way to connect more meaningfully with the Christ within. A handful of minutes in the body of the service is all it takes. You’ll be surprised at the powerful effect these moments of quiet have on personal transformation and spiritual growth.

 

Plan Ahead for Next Year

Last but not least, mark your calendar now for next year’s Lent planning. There are two dates to keep in mind: August 1 and January 1. August 1 is an ideal time to begin thinking about both Advent and Lent. By starting this early, you give yourself the needed time to consider what themes you’d like to explore with the congregation. Since both Advent and Lent are seasons of preparation, having your own preparation period allows you adequate time to develop ideas into plans and programs. If you miss the August 1 date, it’s still not too late to prepare yourself and your congregation for a Holy Lent. As soon as Advent and Christmas are over, begin January 1 to plan with others. You’ll still have time to get good things on the calendar for the Lenten season.

If you want to learn more ways to change the culture of your church, leadership, and community, come learn about Creating a Culture of Renewal®. In Creating a Culture of Renewal®, you will grow exponentially as a leader, while being part of a community of colleagues. This unique leadership journey will help you identify current needs in your church, create systems for change, and equip individuals with the necessary skills to be part of a transformational process. Participants leave this intensive experience with a portfolio of adaptive leadership skills, and the ability to create lasting change. Register for an introduction to Creating a Culture of Renewal® to see how your church can be transformed.

 

Copyright © 2023 rebekahsimonpeter.com.  All Rights Reserved.

5 Ways to Practice a Holy Lent

5 Ways to Practice a Holy Lent

Lent is a holy season of reflection and renewal. It begins with ashes and ends with the glorious sunrise of Easter morning’s empty tomb. Traditionally, Lent is a time of sacrifice and self-denial. Giving up little pleasures is one way to practice a Holy Lent. But with so much suffering, sadness and sin in the world already, maybe it’s time to re-envision the kind of practices that prepare one for resurrection. In this article, I will suggest five ways to practice a holy Lent.

 

#1 Practice Courage

It takes courage to live authentically in today’s world. Yet, to emulate Jesus is to practice courage. At the height of temptation, surely Jesus felt twinges of angst, nevertheless, he refused to give in. At the height of persecution, when Jesus could easily have been afraid, he chose to love unconditionally. In this season of hateful rhetoric and us v. them conflicts, it requires courage to open one’s heart to another. And to listen well. Even in the face of fear.

Churches can guide their members in living courageously. Note the kinds of actions that have produced fear or worry in the past. Then plan to take small but significant steps that move you through fear into faith. 

Courage doesn’t have to be dramatic or grandiose. It can be shown through small acts of compassion, gentleness, or generosity. For instance, showing kindness in the face of criticism or demonstrating humility in the face of outrage.

 

#2 Take on Something New

To prepare for the new life that resurrection brings, take on something new this Lent. This could be a new spiritual discipline, or even a practice of saying yes to something new each day.

Churches can guide their members in this form of Lenten practice by taking on a church-wide practice together. Examples of this include morning prayer walks or making new cross-generational connections in the congregation. Or looking for ways to practice a random act of kindness each day.

 

#3 Create More Joy in the World

In the face of violence and suffering, the world needs more joy. One way to create more joy is to become a better version of yourself. This kind of joyful purpose ripples out to others and gives them permission to be more joyful versions of themselves. Imagine the positive impact of people who have more joy to share with others.

Churches can guide their members in this form of Lenten practice by encouraging people to let go of habits and hurts that keep them down. Uplifted spirits are good preparation for resurrection.

 

#4 Focus on Others

It’s easy to get wrapped up in our own individual journeys of repentance and renewal in Lent. However, it’s important to remember the importance of focusing on others during this time. Can you use this season as an opportunity for self-reflection as well as service? Perhaps you can reach out to someone who needs help or volunteer with an organization in your area—these small acts of self-giving go a long way toward making a difference in others’ lives.

Churches can guide their members by finding unique ways to open their doors, fellowship halls, or church grounds to the community during Lent.  Having a pancake breakfast, an early Spring festival, or a sidewalk chalk art contest for neighborhood children can do wonders toward fostering goodwill between the church and the community

 

#5 Practice Gratitude

The Lenten season is an ideal opportunity for practicing gratitude. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of your life or what you have given up, focus instead on all that you have been blessed with—your health, your family and friends, your job or career, your faith, etc. Practicing gratitude each day—even for the hard stuff—will allow you to appreciate all that life has offered you while also developing greater awareness and appreciation for yourself and others.

Churches can guide their members in this form of Lenten practice by formally acknowledging those who do the “little things” that help make everything go smoothly on a Sunday morning.  The usher who stays after everyone has left and checks each pew for extra bulletins or lost mittens.  The janitor who takes extra care to make the sanctuary shine.  That one special person who always takes the time to fix a meal for a sick or shut-in member.

Let your congregation see you, as a church leader, practicing gratitude, not just to church leaders, but to those who are sometimes forgotten.

 

Forging a New Path

Lent provides us with an opportunity for significant transformation if we approach it in these five new ways. By taking on new initiatives that bring joy into our lives, focusing on others through acts of service, and cultivating gratitude daily, we can genuinely make this period transformational–not only for ourselves but those around us too! So take some time today and intentionally consider how you would like to approach this season.

If you want to know more about deepening your spirituality check out my latest book, Forging a New Path. In it, I provide insights and resources needed to create a significant journey of transformation and spirituality.

 

 

Copyright © 2023 rebekahsimonpeter.com.  All Rights Reserved.

Is it Possible to Love One Another as Jesus Loves Us?

Is it Possible to Love One Another as Jesus Loves Us?

Lenten Practices

 

During Lent, we remember Jesus’ command: “Love one another as I have loved you.” My question is: is it still possible to love one another as Jesus loved us? We live in a world of us versus them, a culture of contempt. We are broken into camps around politics, theology, and understandings of race. Don’t forget human sexuality, biblical authority, and denominational structures. Did I mention the pandemic? Frankly, some of us are too tired to even be patient, let alone loving. Even with all that said, I promise you we don’t have to give up on love. In this article, I want to share the top four ways to practice love this Lent.

 

Does Love Equal Approval?

First, I want to share one common concern. That’s the concern that love means approval. If I am called to love you, but we disagree about fundamental understandings of the world, am I compromising my faith? Am I sending the signal that I approve of what I believe is sinful or unjust behavior?

Here’s what I have found. Loving as Jesus loved does not mean acceptance of behaviors or beliefs. It does however equal acceptance of the other person’s humanity, and their inner divinity. No matter how misguided you think their beliefs and behaviors are. In the end, judgement is God’s domain, not ours.

Now, on to the problem and the solutions: the four ways to practice love this Lent.

 

Why Loving as Christ Loved is Hard

Polarization tends to beget polarization and it takes us farther and farther from Jesus’ command. Polarization is built on fear and judgement. “I am right, and you are wrong. In fact, you are so wrong that I can’t trust you, talk with you, or even be me when you are here.”

These victim stances have no place in the consciousness of Christ. He ate with sinners. He interacted with Pilate. He did not try to winnow out the “other.” He allowed Judas to remain. He set personal differences aside and, in their place, created community amongst his people.

 

Four Ways to Practice Love This Lent

1) Practice Looking for Common Value Polarizing constructs are only given life when we act on them. By letting go of “us versus them,” you take the first steps toward loving as Jesus loved, and to creating community. Instead, let polarization dissolve by embracing the opposites, or by finding, identifying, and focusing on common underlying values.

2) Practice Listening When you are with someone you don’t love, listen for their humanity. Put yourself in their shoes. Ask: how has your personal journey brought you to this place? How has it shaped your perspectives?

3) Practice Extending Grace The person you can’t stand to love may look at you the same way you look at them. Surprise them by extending grace. Give them grace to make a mistake, to be on a different journey, to grow in their own timeline, and to be recipients of God’s love, and yours.

4) Practice Praying If you can’t find love within you, ask God to show you how, to teach you how to love them. If that doesn’t work, keep praying.

 

It’s Possible to Love One Another as Jesus Loves Us

The pandemic has shown us that there is no us versus them. There is only us. People from every walk of life and every country on earth have been impacted by the pandemic. If we hope to come through it with any sense of unity, we have to practice loving one another as Jesus loved us. It’s not automatic; it takes intention. I invite you to take on these four practices this Lent: looking for common values, listening, extending grace, and praying.

We don’t know everything the post-pandemic future holds, but the more we trust God in our approach, the more that we can live by Jesus’ command. Then, the more confident we’ll be knowing that we can survive and even thrive once again.

Excerpted and adapted from Rebekah Simon-Peter’s upcoming book (Market Square Publishers, 2022)

Copyright © 2022 rebekahsimonpeter.com, All Rights Reserved.

Walk the Path of Healing through Lent

Walk the Path of Healing through Lent

The Covid-19 pandemic has brought about a world of change. Many congregations have been weighed down with grief, resentment, and fear, unable to move forward. This year, I want to show you how to walk the path of healing through Lent. In this article, I’ll share how to move through the stages of repentance, remembrance, acceptance, forgiveness, gratitude, and embracing on each of the six Sundays of Lent.

 

A Day of Repentance

Repentance means to turn back to God. Recognize how you may have played a part in harming another. Did you push people away with acts of injustice or ignore a neighbor? Did you contribute to acts of polarization or lose the way of hope? Congregational acts of repentance include sending out the prayer of confession and pardon from the United Methodist service of Holy Communion, asking your congregation to read and reflect on it, and bring their contemplations to worship. Read the prayer slowly and deliberately to truly grasp the depth of each line.

 

A Day of Remembrance

Spend time as a congregation in active remembrance. Remember those who have passed and the gifts that they brought. Remember the ones you could not visit and their seat in the sanctuary. Remember your family members, neighbors, and loved ones who have died because of Covid or other causes. Acknowledge human loss, offer thanksgiving for their legacy, and joy that death is not the end of life. Celebrate Holy Communion as a congregational act of remembering, that at this sacred table we gather together with those on the journey of life and with those who are in our great cloud of witnesses.

 

A Day of Acceptance

Acceptance tends to be a touchy subject.  We saw this on the national stage as the country debated the existence of Covid and the legitimacy of the election process. In the church, acceptance is deeply connected with faith. Degrees of faith tend to be used as a measuring stick for whom we accept and whom we do not. The truth is, acceptance does not mean approval. Acceptance is simply the willingness to recognize what is so, whether you personally believe it is good or not. It is an act of surrender, a way to release control over what we never had control of in the first place. Congregational acts of acceptance include creating a personal or communal “bulletin” board that represents all the changes that have taken place during the pandemic: what has been gained and what has been lost. This “bulletin” board can then become a point for reflective prayer.

 

A Day of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is necessary when harm has been done. The pandemic has evoked many strong opinions and reactions among us. Whether it is the issue of vaccines and masks, politics and the presidential election, or social distancing and working from home, it feels like a thousand different harms pulled us further away from each other. I’ve spoken to many friends, family members, and colleagues whose sorrow has led to resentment, blame, and judgement. While blame and judgement seem understandable in extreme circumstances, the rancor that lives within is poisonous to your body, mind, and spirit. Forgiveness opens the way for healing to begin.  Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you condone someone else’s behavior. It means that you are willing to stop carrying the harm within yourself. Congregational acts of forgiveness include prayer for oneself, friends, and enemies, and the surrender of resentment and rancor to God’s loving care.

 

A Day of Gratitude

Gratitude is the heart’s response to the gifts of God. Although much has been lost during the pandemic, much has also been gained. Amplify the feelings of gratitude within your heart by counting your blessings. Take time to reflect on and recognize all that you can be thankful for, and what you have learned from the changes that have taken place. Congregational acts of gratitude include hymn sings, sharing of testimonies, and acts of service for others.

 

A Day of Embracing

Embracing is a positive, proactive act that allows one to move forward into a new future. It’s an open heart that can both pray “thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” and “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” This kind of embracing embodies the unconditional love of God that flows outward to all, no strings attached. Congregational acts of embracing include reciting affirmations of faith, anointing, and speaking new visions into life.

As we approach Lent, which of these congregational acts will prepare your people to receive the gifts of resurrection? Which will bring healing, wholeness, and a renewed awe on this gift we call life? Even though the pandemic is not over, it’s time to look ahead for what new plans God is unfolding. We won’t be ready to receive them unless we repent, remember, accept, forgive, express gratitude, and embrace.

While we can’t rush the process, once we walk the path through these six stages, we can be ready once again to co-create miracles with God.

If you’re ready to take the next step, please join me for Jesus-Sized Dreams for Small-Sized Churches, a three-session workshop where you’ll learn how to Dream Like Jesus and bring renewal to your congregation and community.

 

Copyright © 2021 rebekahsimonpeter.com, All Rights Reserved.

Preparing for Lent

Preparing for Lent

Let me guess.  You read the title of this week’s blog post and thought to yourself, “Preparing for Lent?! I have almost 2 months of worship to prepare for before I even think about Lent.” While that is true, the Lenten season will be here before we know it. And I believe that, considering the past two years, we have a lot of work to do to truly be ready to rise at Easter.

So much has changed.  We’ve missed celebrating birthday parties, graduations, wedding anniversaries, even weddings themselves.  We’ve watched as people have turned on one another and experience heartache as friendships are lost, damaged, even destroyed.  Fighting across the aisle has been turned up to a level that borders on uncivilized.  What happens in our world tends to make its way into the church, as they watch their numbers dwindle, some as a result of relocation or a specific political view, others who have moved from this life into the next. The whole matter of loved ones dying and family and friends not being able to grieve in the usual ways, mourn communally, or mark their passing has slowed down people’s ability to rebound.

Not being able to grieve the losses of the pandemic has left us stuck, feeling incomplete and even isolated. Many people have died alone, without family or friends to visit, without pastoral calls or prayer. This has weighed heavy on churches and their leaders. Grief in and of itself is hard to bear. Weighed down by unprocessed grief, it’s hard for churches to move forward. Indeed, it’s hard for the world to move forward, as we are all grieving something or someone. When mourners are unable to share stories and be comforted by one another or have a place to go long afterwards, it creates a deep sense of displacement.

A May 2020 study on grief published in Psychiatry stated, “Funeral and burial rituals are important for the affective adjustment of people grieving the loss of a loved one and mourners who drew comfort from planning and participating in the funeral were shown to achieve better outcomes in later grief. From this perspective, being prevented from holding a proper funeral for their loved ones might prevent COVID-19 mourners from gaining awareness of the reality of the death and from understanding and framing their loss, besides eliminating a significant important occasion of social support.”

Preparing for Lent

How does the church move on from this experience? The time between now and Lent is our opportunity to do so. Below are five ways that you can help your congregation move forward.

1. We would do well to look at the Jewish traditions for grieving. In traditional Judaism, funerals happen as soon as possible after a death occurs and the following week is spent solely at home with family and members of the Jewish community. Customary prayers are recited daily to honor the dead. This week is intended to focus on accepting loss and to encourage healing. A longer, formal mourning process lasts 30 days, where mourners slowly reintegrate themselves into the world. Prayers continue to be recited daily. If a parent is lost, this formal mourning lasts eleven months. In the eleventh month, an unveiling ceremony takes place, wherein the gravestone is revealed. In the years that follow on the anniversary of death, a candle that burns for 24 hours is lit in memory of the deceased. Setting precedence for a longer mourning process will help those that are grieving create expectations and know that they are not leaving their loved ones behind.

2. Draw comfort from your faith, focus on your wellbeing, and set boundaries. Being church leaders, we’re sometimes expected to have all the answers. I’m sure you’ve had members of your congregations and communities ask how they are supposed to navigate these times. You may be lost, feeling like you’re trying to figure that out right now too. Not having all the answers can make you feel inadequate, or like you aren’t doing “enough.” This isn’t true. Trying to do everything only leads to burn-out and emotional fatigue.

3. Acknowledge that we are living in a different time. Be resourceful with how you can bring people together. Now, more than ever, it is so important that we make social connections a priority. Zoom, Microsoft Teams, Facetime, and other video conferencing platforms are great for bringing people together, while still maintaining social distance.

4. Create emotionally safe spaces for people to share their hurt without feeling judged. Do your best to listen to those that feel comfortable enough to share these deeply personal feelings with you. Oftentimes, listening and truly being present is more consoling than offering advice or explanation.

5. Encourage those that you support to create their own rituals. Journaling, doing activities that remind them of their loved ones, or planting a tree in their memory are all healthy and effective ways for others to express their feelings and continue in the healing process.

It goes without saying that we aren’t going to be able to change everything, but we do have the power to change certain things. These changes will make a difference in how those in our congregations and communities experience and grapple with grief. Addressing these now will allow us to truly be prepared for Lent and to rise for the resurrection.

Excerpted and adapted from Rebekah Simon-Peter’s upcoming book, Growing the Post-Pandemic Church (Market Square Publishers, 2022)

Copyright © 2021 rebekahsimonpeter.com, All Rights Reserved.